I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
