i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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