If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize
