I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
