12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
