He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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