I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
