I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
