I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
