Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
