I'm eating all of the evidence.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
