After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Banned from zoo.
Again?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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