I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
ok first of all what the fuck
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
