The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
