So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize
