no you cant smoke seaweed
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
