dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
