if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
