He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
