dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
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