I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
