Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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