But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
