just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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