He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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