Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Randomize
