AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
