Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
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