no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
