Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
