I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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