how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
