Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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