last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
