I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Randomize
