just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
