she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
