I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
