stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
