it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
