If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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