No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
