with your own penis?
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
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