drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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