he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
