...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
