my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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