GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
