I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
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