i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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