So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
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