It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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