How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize