the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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