just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
