So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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