He had one of those small greek statue penises
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
