making cat noises will not fix the situation.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
