All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
