Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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