and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize