I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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