and next time when you feel me up, do it right
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
