i already hear my dad disowning me
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
