When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
