She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize