Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
