i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
