i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
