I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
