so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
