I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
even my farts smell like vagina
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize