So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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